Clutch My Pearls

Clutch My Pearls is a podcast where the host, Emily, doesn't read erotic fiction and her two friends, Barbara and Vanessa, tell her all about their favorite smut! Join them every Tuesday as they dive into a different raunchy read and find out if Emily clutches her pearls!


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Recent Reviews
  • sydkp4
    Loveeeeeee
    Love these three so so much and how they cover the different types of book smut friends
  • Andrew "Machomandalorian" Ciha
    I’m not the target demographic for this show. But…
    I genuinely love this podcast. The three hosts, Barbara, Emily and Vanessa, are an absolute hoot. Their antics have gotten me through many a rough week recently with their wacky antics. From deep cut inside jokes, or just off the dome goofs make this an absolute treat. As evidenced by the title of my review, I’m not the target audience for a podcast about smut. But I’m one of many fans of this funny, educational and entertaining show. Lots of love to the hosts! ✌🏻❤️🎸
  • Lil_Jina_Z
    Hilarious and fun!
    I love this podcast! These three are so funny. I usually listen to them on my commute to and from work, and there have been multiple times I almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard there were tears in my eyes. Would definitely recommend this, especially to any book-lovers out there. This podcast feels like the most fun bookclub with friends!
  • Frostiqueen
    Mile High ♾️
    I’ve been in a reading slump for a while and I found this podcast by accident and thank whatever entity is out there because this has been a rollercoaster of laughter. I’ve loved every episode and recommend it to everyone.
  • maleah730
    Obsessed 🙌
    Started listening to this show three weeks ago and am already on episode 40. Safe to say I’m obsessed!
  • Kingfifteen
    Recommended!
    Good podcast overall. Very funny and entertaining. Thanks for reading these so I don’t have to? It’s crazy to think this is a “companion” podcast to The Regulation Podcast!
  • Desss_
    Great concept for a pod
    I love the concept for this podcast and the books picked to dissect! I just hate how much they talk over each other. Some of the stuff said is not even funny; just annoying.
  • Skellyanimal
    Reading again for first time in years
    Not enough good things can be said about this podcast! These three ladies have such beautiful voices and wonderful friendship chemistry that is almost makes this dead rotten heart warm again, and the off the wall ADHD brain tangents regularly have me ugly snort laughing in my office. I was a voracious reader as a youth but fell off hard when I become an adult and all my reading was forced through work or school, I knew I wanted to start reading the books in this pod, but Haunting Adeline was the one that truly GOT me. When Vanessa said she would never present the second book because it was so messed up my curiosity was PIQUED (spoilers: 110% SO messed up! Loved it!) I have now read all of H.D. Carlton’s books in less than two weeks, signed up for Goodreads, and there’s no stopping me! Vanessa, Barbara, and Emily — y’all are true queens, and I can only hope there’s no stopping you either!
  • Chrestomanci1
    Girls being girls
    I LOVE how the ladies interact with each other and (especially when Emily and Barbara ask a question because they are SCANDALIZED and Vanessa just answers in a smug voice “yesssssss” drawing out her s). They all know what this is- it’s about trashy books. Have fun, don’t think too hard about it
  • Julia203040
    So amazing!
    Love these girls! They are so funny! They make any book interesting!
  • Nessa4687
    Smut and comedy, perfection.
    It is pretty difficult to get me to audibly laugh at a podcast, but these ladies have done it. These good girls have a great banter, amazing concept, and just the right amount of polish. They know what show they are making, and they seem to effortlessly remain themselves in the process.
  • CarDee9120
    Hi Diane
    I NEED a hi Diane shirt!!
  • dallinfarrer
    She’s not like other podcasts
    The books discussed on this podcast have never interested me, but the cliff notes versions presented here are incredible. I especially enjoy the hosts attempts to embarrass each other by casting the scenes and the dramatic readings are perfect.
  • karenmart33
    So not Stuffed
    Never ever ever have I felt so lucky to have a feather allergy! Sooo not for me but you girls keep bringing your always hilarious banter and wicked smart snark. I love your show!! ~KLM
  • AnyGDNickname
    Crying Laughing
    I haven’t cried from laughter like this in a long time! Emily reading from the male’s POV is a wild ride! Y’all keep the book selection diverse which is much appreciated! Keep dumping these bad boys out!
  • Ceridwen1031
    Love this!
    I listen to this podcast when I am fighting my anxiety. I laugh so hard I feel like I will get 6 pack abs. Hands down one of my favorite parts of my week.
  • EmYa36374859
    LOVE
    I am obsessed with this podcast. It’s like sitting down with friends and giggling uncontrollably. Like that laugh that is contagious and everything is funny. I do listen in my car and I wonder if the people at red lights hear the spicy scenes but oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️ cannot recommend this podcast enough. 100/10
  • ess_bee_ltx
    My weekly dose of serotonin
    I LOVE this podcast! It reminds me of sitting down with my buds and talking about the stuff we’ve read, ridiculous voices and all. I have found myself laughing out loud in the middle of the grocery store, at the bank, at work, you get the picture. I look unhinged and that’s fine because I’m having a GREAT time listening to these hilarious ladies. 10/10 recommend!
  • Sboggess
    I’ve been listening since like episode 3 and it just keeps getting better!
    The only downside for me personally was that it took a few tries to get through the Neon Gods episode, but that wasn't their fault. I just have a puppy named Persephone so it made it feel weird. Love them, love their banter, I love the show! I’ve even convinced my husband to listen to some of it!
  • alexis 🌙
    Warm, cozy, and funny
    I love this podcast, anytime this podcast releases another episode it gets prioritized over all my other ones. I love finding new books, and they’re dynamic is unparalleled-absolutely hilarious. I’ve recommended it to a few of my close friends, and will continue to do so.
  • MezzoMadeline
    Regulation book club listener
    This podcast is the hilarity my Tuesday mornings were missing.
  • Carter735
    LOVE Clutch my Pearls!!🩷
    I’ve found my people!! Emily, Vanessa, and Barbara are hilarious and fun and approach every book with light-hearted banter that will have you cackling along with them. These gals cover everything, from cute, to steamy, to down-right monstrous 😉. Be prepared for Tuesdays to become your favorite day of the week!
  • milmommaof2
    Laughing out loud!
    I haven’t laughed at a podcast like this in SO long! My favorite part has got to be listening to Emily read the naughty scenes out loud and all the comments about it. Just finished the most recent one (lovelight farm) and I was dying! 10/10 recommending this to my fellow smut loving friends
  • CR Carlos Reyes
    Super funny and enjoyable
    This isn’t a podcast I’d usually listen to but after the Gobble Me, Swallow Me episode I became a comment leaver for this podcast! Y’all three are awesome keep doing what y’all are doing!!
  • Tj tuffy
    Funny and spicy 5PEARLS !
    I work a route based job and I have found this podcast to help make the day go by faster. The bond between these friends shows as they describe the books. There have been times in some episodes that even I a guy would have had to clutch his pearls. As a first episode I recommend “mile high” episode. You will find yourself wanting more episodes right away! I am so happy I found this podcast but at the same time I’m sad I found it so soon because now I have to wait for the next spicy adventure . 5 PEARLS !!! -TJ
  • OrtusReads
    Pure Smooshy Joy!
    Love it! You can not deny these women are brilliant!
  • AshleyT2018
    All the TEA
    If you wanna drink a glass of wine, and spill the tea with some gal pals, and enjoy some SAUCY SPICY talk, this podcast is for you. I read quite a bit, and have never read any books talked about yet, but even when the endings are spoiled, and they will be spoiled, it doesn’t matter because most readers know how these books end anyway. I love the dynamics of this trio, and I’m so glad they got together to make this!
  • SparkyChaser
    Love it!
    I heard about the podcast through another podcast. And omg I am so glad I started listening! I feel like I am in my own little book club with people who would have the same reactions I do, to theses books. Theses ladies are amazing and funny! If you love a good laugh while talking about smut definitely have a listen!
  • KittenCream
    I love Book Club!
    Listening to this podcast always makes me smile! I love feeling like I’m sitting in a room with some girl friends and laughing with them. Always have a smile on my face while I listen to this podcast and it feel refreshing to have women who aren’t afraid to talk about the smut their reading! I don’t have any irl girl friends so it really makes up for it listening to this pod all cast every week. Thanks for doing a great job ladies! Can’t wait for next week 💖
  • B Beemin
    Funny women discuss books
    Title says it all. They are funny, they discuss ridiculous books and have fun doing it. As a reader who never ventures into these genres it’s fun getting a peak behind that curtain.
  • 123ABClala
    Hilarious
    Don’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did hearing about a HUMAN man named “Raccoon”. Excellent show, incredibly funny, please keep making this!
  • Holy Cow Dude
    Ehhh
    Maybe cover the books more and be less annoying
  • MirandiGail
    Best Podcast about Smutty Books
    Listening to this podcast really feels like sitting around with your best friends discussing your silly little sex books. The hosts are hilarious and bring to life every thought I had while reading these books. I’ve listened to every single episode so far and I’m excited to hear more.
  • Kimsbookaddiction
    Smutty book club with friends 10/10
    I have tried a lot of book podcasts but this one is the one that has met all my needs! It’s talking about your fav smutty books with your girlfriends all you need is the wine. Love the hosts and how you feel like it’s just a night out with the girls ❤️
  • Abolton19956
    Such a fun way to chat about romance and smut
    I’ve tried listening to other podcasts about romance books but have had a hard time getting into them. I absolutely LOVED this show. It genuinely felt like you were sitting down to smutty book club with your friends. It had me laughing out loud. I particularly liked the commentary from Emily as if gave a fun perspective from someone who wasn’t knowledgeable about the book. I loved how they focused on one book and even read an excerpt of one of the spicy scenes (which was hilarious). Just a great job all around. Can’t wait for the next episode!
  • TinaNarvaezJr
    Feels like a sleepover with the girls
    Listening to this gave me the same warm feeling of the late night chats I use to have with friends at sleepovers. It’s fun, smutty, and an easy listen. Made me giggle and blush in the best way.
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